


All or Nothing

by OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Doumeki is over this shit, Fix-It, M/M, Pining, that damn egg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 04:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21247496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor/pseuds/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor
Summary: Watanuki takes over the shop and Doumeki realizes he can't live his life torn between two worlds.





	All or Nothing

Doumeki held himself together in front of Watanuki, as always. Even though Watanuki was uncharacteristically quiet. Shock, Doumeki thought. Tying your soul to an interdimensional wish shop has to be traumatic. Doumeki wanted to rage, to yell, to demand answers. But he didn't. Nor did he gather Watanuki close, holding him so tightly that maybe his world would stop shattering. The only touch Doumeki allowed himself was the slightest brush of his hand against Watanuki's shoulder as he left the shop. His soul fractured a little farther as he left Watanuki alone. "Dumbass," he muttered, not sure if he meant Watanuki or himself. In the safety of his own room at the shrine, Doumeki allows his facade to crumble. He pulls the egg Yuuko gave him out of his pocket, rolling it between his fingers. He want to throw it, watch it smash against the wall, dripping yellow flecked with white. But he doesn't. Because this has something to do with Watanuki, and Doumeki would give every last shred of himself for Watanuki. His grandfather always cautioned him to be careful what he gave himself to, that a person only has so much of themself to give away. Perhaps he should have listened better. But the very first time he saw Watanuki, he knew. This was it. It was like something clicked, like the world was complete for the first time. Watanuki tried to kick him for the look on his face. It was like watching an angry kitten, and Doumeki knew his fate was sealed. Now Watanuki gone somewhere he can't follow. Doesn't really know what he's done. Yuuko was something ancient and terrible. And now Watanuki,  _ his  _ Watanuki, had signed up for the same. He loved Yuuko, poured all his parental abandonment issues into that relationship, though Doumeki doubted he realized it. And she left him too, and Watanuki leapt to keep whatever piece of her he could. Doumeki growled to himself. Why couldn't he see that he was leaving people behind too? Kohane. Himawari.  _ Doumeki. _ The egg was cool in his palm. What was Yuuko about, giving this to him? She never did anything without a plan. Doumeki closed his eyes, but that didn't block out the potential future from playing out behind his eyelids. Watanuki would remain timeless, like a Yuuko. Doumeki wouldn't be able to hold onto him, no matter how hard he tried. He'd marry, fulfill his duty to the shrine. Kohane, maybe, or Himawari. Someone who loved Watanuki as much as he did, who would maybe understand. A child for his family shrine, yes, but more than that, a child who would continue when he couldn't, taking care of Watanuki. Doumeki ground his teeth and opened his eyes.  _ No.  _ He was defined by duty, but he refused to let the shop steal any more lives. His grandfather had been tangled up in this, and if he didn't do something, how many more generations would be tied to that shop? Resolved, he stood, striding out into the night. No moon lit his way, but Doumeki felt his feet would take him to the wish shop no matter what path he took. He pounded on the darkened door. A rumpled Watanuki opened the door. 

"Doumeki? Wha…?" Doumeki didn't let him finish, crowding Watanuki back through the doorway, pressing him against the wall. Watanuki looked up at him with wide eyes. 

"Tell me no," he growled, face inches from Watanuki's. "Tell me you don't want me, break the bond. I won't do this halfway. I can't. It's everything or nothing." 

"Doumeki, what…?" Doumeki dipped down, kissing Watanuki hard with every emotion raging in his heart. Watanuki stiffened for a moment, then his arms were around Doumeki, clinging desperately to him. Doumeki pulled back, panting. 

"You chose the shop. Will you choose me too?" Watanuki's chest heaved, brushing against Doumeki's as he stared up at him. 

"I can't do half," Doumeki whispered his voice cracking. "I can love you or lose you, but doing both would undo me." 

"I don't want to watch you die," Watanuki said, trembling. Doumeki reached into his pocket, pulling out the egg. He held it up to Watanuki's face. 

"Tell me, shop witch, what does this item do?" Watanuki's brow furrowed, and he brushed his fingers across the smooth surface. He gasped. Swallowed roughly. 

"It… takes away. Uncreates. In...in my posession, it would take away the shop, and, and all memories of… her. In yours… it takes away your life, your normal life, where you age and marry and care for the shrine. It… it would bind your fate to… mine." He stared at Doumeki, like he didn't know what his choice would be. Doumeki almost laughed. Yuuko had given him a choice. His fate was his. He shrugged and slid the egg into his pocket. 

"You can't just  _ shrug _ !" Watanuki shreiked. Doumeki grinned down at him, glad to see the indignant Watanuki he so loved. 

"Oh I intend to do more," he said, eyes dropping to Watanuki's lips. Watanuki squeaked and swallowed hard. Then he squared his shoulders.

"Well get on with it then!" 


End file.
